In the Pink

My wife wrote a blog post about her fury at the insistance that kid’s learn to use cameras with “toy” cameras, and was further incensed that a pink camera was advertised as “good for girls” based solely on it’s color.

We’ve all seen it- Hello Kitty backpacks, pink heart coffee mugs, pink power drills, pink pepper-spray pistols, pink cowboy hats

The pinkification- the gender ghetto that we are forcing people into- is fucking horrifying.

At first I thought it was kind of cute- ah, take a power drill or a hunting shotgun (“manly” tools) and make ‘em pink! Adorable!

Then I thought about it. Then I felt really guilty for falling into the gender-niche trap. I can guarantee you my little sister has spent more time with firearms than I ever will- would I ever suggest she get a pink firearm? I know three women off the top of my head who are more well-versed with power tools than I will ever be, should any of them carry a pink power drill?

If someone wants a bright color for something personal, I think it goes without saying- that it is fine- it is a choice, but the marketing of it is Not a Good thing, and as a penis-bearing American, I cannot weigh in beyond that.

If my son, or my daughter, wants a pink power tool (or video game controller, or hat, whatever) so be it- it is their call what color they like. But to market specifically “pink=female” is condescending.

And I have to say, we all need to agree that if she so chooses a Woman can choose to embrace the pink! It isn’t like a woman has to turn her back on a color she wants just because she is supposed to.

I have a dear friend who drives a very pink car. But she had to specifically special order that color- or get it done herself (I don’t remember)- she didn’t buy it BECAUSE it was pink and thusly advertised as appropriate for her Femininity.

Likewise- if a man wants to wear pink, as a culture it becomes a pink triangle- a sigil of “gayness”.

A year or so ago a work-friend of mine offered me a pink sweat-shirt with a company logo on it, much to big for my daughter but about the right size for my son. “For your little girl,” he said.

“Well, she likes earth colors, but her brother might go for it,” I said. I wasn’t really joking, Sam likes bright blue, yellow, orange. Grace does too- but like I said, the sweatshirt wouldn’t have fit her. My work-friend was horrified that I would suggest a pink article for my son.

Work-friend is a nice guy- a hell of a nice guy, he has done many favors for me and always been a pleasure to work with. He is a bit older than I am, certainly from a different background- he’s a Union man, a hard-working, salt-of-the-earth Coors Light and fishing trip kind of blue-collar joe. I like him, and I don’t hold his views against him personally.

I called him on it- “dude, it is just a color” and he looked sort of bashful, like he knows it shouldn’t mean anything, but it does- or that he couldn’t help it…

I don’t know.

Antiquated views, gender and racial bias- these are things we still live with on a daily basis. It might be getting better, but there is still a lot of unthinking behavior that needs to be addresed- and I really feel like that is the issue: Unthinking.

Unrelated, I know a very progressive, socially liberal gay man who dresses as a sexy Indian brave every Halloween. *facepalm*. This is Unthinking- “asian people can’t drive, lol!”, and apparently “girls are girly and like girlie things to girl with.”

Feh.

On Harrowed Ground

The ennui of a world without Halloween is tough to adjust to. Grace helped with un-decorating the apartment, but Sam preferred to sit and watch the last 30 minutes of Toy Story 3 rather than deal with it not being Halloween.

Grace was fine with it- as I said- until her candy bucket (factory-felted black and orange with an owl on it) and her Snoopy pumpkin car got put into the giant orange bin.

Now both kids were rebelling- how could we expect them to live in a world without Halloween?

Annika talked gently and calmly to them about how Halloween is just the first of many holidays that stud the Autumn-Winter cycle.

Christmas is easy- the kids are constantly reminded of it throughout the year- hell, anytime they see a picture of a snowscape or watch a movie or tv show that has a snowy setting, they will point out that it “is Christmas time!” there.

For years, I have heard my son explain how in The Empire Strikes Back Luke is at Christmas when he fights a monster and gets hurt and then the bad guys come.

Thanksgiving is a bit less represented. Sure, there is the Charlie Brown special- with the popcorn and Peppermint Patty being a horrible entitled ass- but thankfulness for a kid as a special “day”, that is a weird idea to communicate.

We’re lucky, I guess, the kids seem to be pretty thankful about the little joys in life without having to be told they should be. Well, Sam is anyway, Grace still has a hearty dose of toddler solipsism- she really can’t understand why HER schedule isn’t EVERYONE’s schedule much of the time.

Halloween is down- all but the 86 image slideshow/screensaver on my log-in. Thanks is coming soon (no trailers for that), and then Christmas and New Years (“Uncle Shelby and Bri come over and eat” night) and birthdays…

Ah, Christmas.

“Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner!”

Is it any wonder that my favorite Christmas story is the one with ghosts?

Halloween Countdown – November 1st

For some, the morning after Halloween is much like the morning after New Years Eve can be- hungover, disappointed that the “ultimate night” didn’t quite take place.

I have always loved Halloween, as I’ve mentioned a few times here before. The pageantry and costume, the preparation, the imagination on display- for the best aspects of Halloween take a degree of imagination far beyond “Target monster mask and hoodie”.

I’ve been to very few Halloween parties- never hosted one. But somehow- especially now that we have 2 amazing kids- Halloween rivals Christmas at being “The” holiday of the year. My wife says that from October 1 to January 1 we pretty much are in The Holiday Season- she ain’t wrong.

For every year the Halloween decorations in our apartment get a little more elaborate and go up a little earlier- and if we lived somewhere with a yard, I can guarantee you that there would be graves dug, chemical fog floating down from the trees, and eerie noises in the bushes.

It is a slight sense of missed opportunity that hits me every November 1st. A sort of post-haunting ennui. An uneasy sense that I didn’t quite get enough spooky out of October. The decorations, the monster movies, the building excitement for Trick ‘r Treating from the kids, the Halloween music mix (and if i-tunes updates and destroys this years’s 104 song playlist like it did the 200 song list a few years ago, I might go PC), the horror trailer-exploration on this site…

It is wonderful and I love it, and sometimes it doesn’t quite feel like enough.

Halloween night was great- the kids dressed as Link and Link-as-wolf (or, as Grace occasionally decided, as a baby wolfman) and they adored trick ‘r treating- “Mommy! We having So Much Fun!” Sam kept enthusing, despite every other adult over 45 saying: “Oh! Look, are you Peter Pan?”. Grace’s constant refrain was: “Now we go to the next house!”

After a late light dinner, the kids partially sated with a small dose of candy and a relatively early dinner, Annika and I sat down and watched The American Scream

Terrific, terrific documentary- affectionate and warm. Terribly funny, sweet, and inspiring.

I’m not saying I’m gonna go into amateur haunting myself- it just isn’t logistically possible. But the main focus of the documentary, Victor, struck me as a kindred spirit- he has a huge creative drive to make his Haunt something special- he can’t quite articulate why he does it, which endears him massively- but he can’t deny the urge and focus either. I can relate to that.

And Victor sums it up perfectly towards the end, telling us: “Thanksgiving and Christmas are family holidays- but Halloween is a community holiday, where friends and strangers come together to celebrate something awesome.” (paraphrased from memory).

The problem there being, of course, that our community in LA is so spread out, it is hard to share the Halloween love. Sad.

Ah well.
Time to start haunting (hoohahoo) the Halloween web for sales! 364 days to prepare for next year!

Halloween Countdown – October 31

A few tips for Trick or Treat safety during the spookiest time of the year…

Trick ‘r Treat is a terrific movie- and I’ve covered it before a few October’s ago- but I really don’t care. This trailer is…

Well, it is Halloween.

The old educational video, the discordant scrape of the bow across violin strings (LOVE, that musical cue), the dried leaves skittering on the breeze, costumes and decorations, you can almost smell the wood-smoke in the air… to the mounting dread that is accelerated when the pirate kid kicks the lit jack ‘o lantern into the water… that fantastic shot of Dylan Baker not really laughing, his shirt soaked with blood… and the cutting back to his All Hallow’s Eve speech on the porch while carving the pumpkin- this is a truly great Halloween trailer.

The movie itself kicks ass too.

I hope you all have a truly great Halloween!

Trick or treat! Giggle & Fright! It’s fun to be scared on Halloween Night!

Or, as Grace, our self-described little monster (“I haff a woofman costume? Awooo! Awooo!”) would sing: “Tick o tweet, jiggle and fight, ayayaya Halloween Night!”

Halloween Countdown – October 30

Guest Post by my wife, Annika!

Will has been almost single-handedly responsible for my horror movie education.

I bet a lot of wives could say the same about their husbands, but I wonder how many of those other wives actually wrote about horror movies professionally for two years? Yeah, I’m bragging. Will loves horror movies so much that I got a job writing about them. (Creature Corner, the site I wrote for, has since been incorporated into its parent site, CHUD.com, and my reviews are lost or at least buried. Let us never speak of it again, as it makes me sad.)

It’s not like I’d never seen a horror movie before I met Will. When I was 12 I watched Silence of the Lambs, and it wasn’t until I met him 7 years later that I was able to articulate why I felt so indifferent toward it: it was a thriller pretending to be a horror movie. When I was 14 I turned off Night of the Living Dead about 20 minutes in because I was scared to pieces. I have still never seen the rest of the movie, but I’ve since seen Dawn of the Dead (both versions) and Land of the Dead. Also Shaun of the Dead.

I was 19 when I met Will, and 21 when he showed me the horror movie that changed everything: The Evil Dead. It scared the bejeezus out of me and I couldn’t wait to watch Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn.

Since then I have watched a LOT of horror movies. I wrote a few years ago about catching up on classics I’d never seen—and that was just over one October. This year, Sam (who was an infant when I wrote that post) watched with us, and we caught up on Universal’s monster movies.

But somehow, I have never seen The Exorcist.

The trailer is very dark (literally dark, as in absence of light), and dark=scary is a cliché for a reason. (The reason: dark is SCARY.) It also has a lot of screaming, which threatened to make me take it…less than seriously.

But you know what? It’s pretty fucking scary, or at least makes me think the movie might be. It wisely shows very little of the possessed girl, and focuses on her terrified mother. I seriously know next to nothing about the movie, and the trailer was enough to make me nervous about the outcome of the exorcism. Is it trailer brilliance? No, but it’s above average in my book.

Thanks, Annika! You can check out more of her musings at her blog- and come back tomorrow for the final trailer of the month…

Halloween Countdown – October 29

Screams, moans, bats & bones!
Teenage monsters in haunted homes…
The ghost on the stair!
The Vampire’s bite!
Better beware- there’s a full moon tonight!

And there is a full moon tonight, so what better trailer than one for a movie where the state of the moon hold’s no importance?

Merrye Syndrome- a genetic affliction unique to the Merrye family (funny, that) which kicks in around puberty and causes them to mentally, and eventually physically regress backwards down the evolutionary ladder.

Jack Hill’sSpider Baby can easily sit along side other self-aware horror-comedy of the era; the drive-in B-movies of Del Tenney, or Roger Corman’s Poe/Lovecraft mashups for AIP. In fact, it rises above a lot of its brethren.

The trailer certainly sells the zany, oversexed murderous feel of the movie’s last 15 minutes, but it sadly skips over the soulfully eerie build-up, where the Merrye sisters (Beverly Washburn and Jill Banner) swing between murderous and giddy childlike innocence (there is a shot in the trailer of them mugging straight at the camera that captures this though), and banter with Bruno, the gentle family caretaker and chauffeur played wonderfully by Lon Chaney Jr.

That is young Sid Haig leering and gibbering in the dumbwaiter, and Carol Ohmart (Vincent Price’s devious wife in House on Haunted Hill in the black negligee running about, menaced by the psychotic Merrye’s.

Ohmart is actually very good in the movie- most of the cast is, if you can balance the period affectations and the low-budget setting. There is a primal sexuality- and a sadness- layered over the poverty-row Addams or Munster feel to the proceedings. Good as Ohmart and Chaney are, Jill Banner is the real stand-out performance in this, as the unhinged Virginia.

Spider Baby is one of my favorite hidden gems- at times it comes across like Hill wanted to make a less sedate, more sensational version of Shirley Jackson’s We Have Always Lived in the Castle but knew it needed more characters, sex and death to work as a b-picture.

Chaney wrote and performed the theme song (lyric sample for the entry’s intro above) which is pretty fun- much in line with his Christmas/Halloween jingle “Monster’s Holliday”.

Halloween Countdown- October 27

We’re getting into the final stretch- but that is no reason to cut short our tour of the Great Weird North.

Stephen McHattie has one of the great character actor faces- and voices- I have occasionally referred to him as “The Canadian Lance Henrikson” but that is unfair to McHattie- 7 years younger than Lance, he started working younger. And they both have voices like gravel soaked in whiskey.

Pontypool has been highly, heavily recommended to me by multiple trustworthy sources. The trailer certainly sells it well.

Halloween Countdown – October 26

We’ve spent a good amount of time in Italy this year, a lot in the UK and the US, but what about Canada? There is a strong Canadian horror film tradition, and not just in “Body-Horror”.

This is a particularly nifty little trailer- I think it sells the tone and humor of the movie pretty much perfectly.

The 90s were a banner time for straight-to-video vampire movies, and this one is a definite gem. It plays with the genre expectations and archetypal tropes of vampire cinema in deft ways.

It is a perfect sort of underdog story- the loser cab driver, the rundown donut shop. the troubled waitress- throwing a cranky vampire into the midst, plus a cowboy boot wearing David Cronenberg as the local crime lord- and you get, well, Blood and Donuts

Halloween Countdown – October 25

Apparently you can go back to the woods again.

On the one hand- “why do we need a remake of The Evil Dead, why would they remake it?” blahblahblah.

We don’t. But they did.

And, actually, it isn’t like it is Evil Dead 2.

Here is the thing; it isn’t like ED is some sort of untouchable top-shelf horror flick. It was a ultra-low budget, extremely gory, tension ratcheter of a splatter-film. It has since been overshadowed by it’s immediate sequel, which balances dark humor with even more gore, and sort of turns into a super-hero origin story to boot.

I like this trailer, for this new Evil Dead – it isn’t supposed to be brilliant, it is the remake of a particularly memorable video nasty. I’m honestly impressed with how gory and nasty the trailer is.

I recently read an interview with the director, who confessed that when he was writing the first draft, he kept out the infamous molesting-tree sequence. He sent an email with the draft to producer (and original ED director Sam Raimi) who responded the next morning with: “Where the fuck is my goddamn rape tree?”

Video nasty indeed.